Towel & Ass 

A bottle broke in my lunch bag so I went to the bathroom to get paper towels

As I’m running to the sink area because my friends are holding the elevator door for me

I go to the paper towel dispenser…one stroke two stroke 

I get the paper towels next thing you know I hear movement by the stalls

I see a grown man one out the stall into another stall with his grown bear Ass showing and his pants around his ankles wobbling to the next stall 

I thought to myself this can’t be life

I thought to myself this can’t be real

I thought to myself am I getting punk’d 

I turned around so fast I got the hell out of there because I didn’t want to be invited to that party 🎉 


Phone Digging 

I’m walking in the store focus on getting a case for my a IPhone 7. Walking in front of me was a lady going in the same direction as the phone cases. As she’s walking her hand come from her side & into the crack of her Ass. 

Ok I can deal with that maybe she got the inching because she wearing sweat pants  in 80 degree weather. 

After she Itches her hand the goes from Ass to Nose in all of matter of seconds. She smells it & looks around to see if anyone was looking. 

YES Miss I saw your nasty Ass this isn’t the Sixth Sense I CAN see you. We caught eye contact & I gave her the look as if she tried to buy clothes with Food Stamps. She later picked up a case for her Android phone and I started to feel sorry for her. It’s not her fault her phone catches Fire & has to resort to digging in her Ass in public, bless her Heart 

Ways to get Stalked🌾🌾👀🌾🌾

When the 🐱 or 🍆 so good 

U take ur Kids to ur  Side Piece House to Trick or Treat but u really wanna see if another Side Piece opens the Door…

Moral of the Story : Don’t Trick away ur Treats if u can’t be the ONLY Side Piece 

Happy Starting 

Went to get a Massage and idk What or How She did it but I left out of there Feeling like Jello 

If She asked Me to Marry her for a Green Card I might say Hell Yes 

Now I know how Chicks Feel when Dudes say “Come Over For a Message” 

Man’s Best Songs

Sitting in my Cubical and heard from the distance a hear a Dog bark 🐶
While in the background of that I hear some old school DMX playing
So I listened & listened and hear my
co workers in the Zone
Rapping & Barking
I think he felt like he was in that opening scene from Belly

Hugs R Us

Saw my friend’s Mom in the store today who I haven’t seen in about a year & clearly she doesn’t have an IG to stay up on the latest news with me
So she gave me the biggest Hug But the Best part is the Look in my friend EYES cause her Momma didn’t want to let go
So I looked my friend Directly in her Soul so she can make a mental note that MR #BreastFedWicApproved could have been her Step Daddy
This friend will remain Tag less to protect her Identity

The Eating Dead

Damn Bob u survived longer than I thought