Put your Hands up


I don’t know what’s in the water now a days but these kids lost their minds.

Christmas just passed and my son just wanted a Sony PlayStation 4 and PlayStation gift card ($50) to buy things while he’s playing Fortnight. In order for him to play this fortnight he must buy the PlayStation Plus (to play online). He spent $20 on V Bucks (money) on fortnight l, and I was going to put in the rest for his PlayStation plus membership which is $60.

I enter the card in but got a Declined message 😳

I entered the card in again and was Declined 🧐

Third time is always the charm right? Negative card Declined Again.

Now he’s looking at me with the dumb look 🥴

like if he stands there long enough he would become invincible. I asked him what happened to all the money on the card. He looks me in my eyes and tells me

I don’t know I just went crazy with the V Bucks ” 🤷🏾‍♂️

At this point we need to touch gloves and square up like two Men and go crazy with these Hands.

Bathroom Etiquette

If you walk into a bathroom with three urinals and two (the ones on the ends) are occupied, you Must go into the available stall.
   If said stall is occupied,then proceed to the far east of the bathroom were you can be waiting to go next. At No time should you use the urinal in between those two men.
   The only time where you can use said urinal is in a dire emergency where you cannot hold it. In this case, you respectfully approach the urinal with your head down and your eyes on your own prize. Use the bathroom, wash your hands, and don’t ever speak of using that middle urinal to anyone.
   Prime example, during an afternoon of drinking and football, I went to use the bathroom. While in said bathroom, there was no one else in there. Of course l,
being the proper gentleman I am,  still went to the far left urinal. Another guy, who I previously thought was a gentleman, comes in almost stumbling to the urinal directly next to me. C’mon sir respect the rules and respect me as a man. My level of uncomfort instantly goes up because now I have to be on guard like if I’m using the bathroom in a prison. If I was a thug I would have peed on his leg but that wouldn’t have been the proudest moment in my life.

Chapter in my ebook


Phone Digging 

I’m walking in the store focus on getting a case for my a IPhone 7. Walking in front of me was a lady going in the same direction as the phone cases. As she’s walking her hand come from her side & into the crack of her Ass. 

Ok I can deal with that maybe she got the inching because she wearing sweat pants  in 80 degree weather. 

After she Itches her hand the goes from Ass to Nose in all of matter of seconds. She smells it & looks around to see if anyone was looking. 

YES Miss I saw your nasty Ass this isn’t the Sixth Sense I CAN see you. We caught eye contact & I gave her the look as if she tried to buy clothes with Food Stamps. She later picked up a case for her Android phone and I started to feel sorry for her. It’s not her fault her phone catches Fire & has to resort to digging in her Ass in public, bless her Heart 

Ways to get Stalked🌾🌾👀🌾🌾

When the 🐱 or 🍆 so good 

U take ur Kids to ur  Side Piece House to Trick or Treat but u really wanna see if another Side Piece opens the Door…

Moral of the Story : Don’t Trick away ur Treats if u can’t be the ONLY Side Piece 

Happy Starting 

Went to get a Massage and idk What or How She did it but I left out of there Feeling like Jello 

If She asked Me to Marry her for a Green Card I might say Hell Yes 

Now I know how Chicks Feel when Dudes say “Come Over For a Message”