Down For Repairs

Son was trying to use the bathroom (#1) & I guess he didn’t have to go anymore so he tells me “Daddy it’s not working”
So had to teach him a on the spot life lesson & tell him to NEVER use those words in the same sentence just say “Its down for maintenance at the moment & it will be back shortly…god bless goodnight”


Dude Don’t Kill My Stash

Another barber cut my hair & he almost slightly frighten & alarmed me…I thought he almost shaved my damn Mustache off…If he did then someone just rent me a van that has no windows & a sliding door cause he almost gave me the Rape Cut…moral of the story is I learned I’m easily slightly Startled

Shit Gets Real Really Fast

So i’m gettin that nice drunk sleep next thing you know I heard 3 loud ass bangs at my door & door bell ringing like crazy…the shit slightly startled & frightened me just a little bit…i thought the government done passed The Purge… I open the door & its the damn 75 year old Maintenance man tellin me “Hola Papi” MANN….

Wanna Feel Safe…Get A Go Phone

I’m convinced Barack fucked up somehow he got Michelle Spying on everybody’s cell phone records its like having ur girl working at the phone company & ur phone in here name…I’m getting a Go Phone like a Trap Star #UKnowUDoneFuckedUpNow